There are more than five first draft mistakes you can make in a novel. But I read through editor Ellen Brock’s top picks this week and found my own take.
1 The Stakes are too weak
In my genre, it’s not a problem; it’s life and death, all the time. Not so for everyone. But smaller stakes will work with good story telling.
Here’s a good rule:
Stakes don’t matter to the reader unless they matter to the protagonist. If the characters care, we care.
Think of a story about one lost sock. Would anyone write Star Trek III: The Search for Socks (that’s an in-joke)? No. It doesn’t fit the genre, or the series.
But let go everyday-domestic. Let’s say this pair of socks were a gift from a deceased parent or lover; they have sentimental value. Or they are the character’s ‘lucky’ socks. Say they need them for a job interview, or a big sports game. These socks become symbolic; emotional support socks. Perhaps they are a character’s ‘trademark’ socks, part of a teenager’s identity. Now the missing sock matters. There’s a solid short story in that.
How about everyday stakes for everyday people? A job application or promotion, a cake baking competition, a side bet with a rival. A medical condition, a difficult pregnancy, a surgeon with Parkinsons, a lawyer with alzheimers. Now we’re building strong enough stakes to sustain a story.
2 The story is too bloated
I write short; I don’t have bloat, but I do have instances of ALL the associated issues:
- Repetition – the same thing said over and over, in the same or slightly different ways. The answer: cut, cut, cut
- Too much back story – focus on the essentials, cut the fat
- Too many characters – consolidate characters. You can frequently combine similar characters into one with multiple roles. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers? I’d have done it in three.
- Too many sub plots – does each sub plot feed back into and contribute to the main plot and overall character arc? If not, what does it achieve?
Often the answer is combine scenes, characters and plot threads; do more with less.
3 Character Point of View weakens the story
This can happen in several ways:
- Multiple points of view executed poorly.
Dilute the point of view across several characters and the focus of the story can get lost. - Poor choice of the central point of view
If it’s not the strongest character, not interesting, not active, not conflicted, or not relatable, that’s a fail.
I made this mistake in my first draft. I chose the wrong point of view character. He wasn’t interesting, unique or different. He wasn’t relatable. But the fey, mixed-race girl with Second Sight? The girl who sees all her losses and sacrifices before they happen? Bam! Same story, different point of view.
4 Scenes lack momentum
Scenes are your building blocks. For every scene, ask where’s the tension, the drama? Most importantly, where’s the conflict? Recall Troy Lambert’s Goal, Motivation, Conflict Resolution.
Identify any dull dialog scenes that drag without making any contribution. Recall the infamous ‘bridging scene.’ These don’t exist.
I actively employ story structure that employs Scene and Sequel, except I think of this pairing as ‘Action and Consequence.’ A whirlwind of events, conflict and decisions, followed by a moment of quiet reflection, analysing what happened, laying out the chain of consequences set in motion. After action, give the characters a chance to react, to plan for the next phase.
5 The protagonist’s actions don’t make sense
A protagonist needs ‘to protag’ (verb, copyright Brandon Sanderson). They need to take action. They can’t sit there as a spectator or a punchbag. The protagonist must have agency. I made this mistake with Jovanka. It took several passes to punt her into action; sometimes right, sometimes wrong. But what kind of action? Recall Goals and motivation:
What they want; why they want it.
If those change, there must be a reason why they change; no random flip-flop from one thing to another.
The protagonist needs either:
- consistency, where they hold to a set of values OR
- experience an arc of change
Set out what the character believes; their actions may conflict with those beliefs but we understand their core personality. Often the external plot imposes actions or choices on a character; those are not self selected. Conflict, regret, guilt, those are all fine reactions to events outside their control. Arbitrary actions that contradict core beliefs won’t make sense.
But ad-hoc action under extreme pressure, in reaction to external events? That’s a recipe for character mistakes and character failure. That’s drama.
Actions have consequences
Actions are learning experiences. Lessons learned bring changes to a character’s beliefs and motivations. Goals can change. Needs give way to wants when the character uncovers their misbelief; the lie gives way to truth. The character pursues a different set of goals in response.
Those actions don’t have to be right, or good, or moral, or even sympathetic, but there must be a logical progression of cause and effect that the reader understands.
Complex psychology is fine, as long as it’s understood by the reader. Opaque character motives and goals alienate readers. We come back to relatability, empathy, sympathy. Without those, the story is lost.
In other news
There are plenty of other first draft mistakes; inconsistent genre-mashing, not setting initial promises, failing to provide progress, failing to provide pay-off’s. There’s the soggy middle, irregular pacing, inconsistent plotting, plot holes the size of a planet. The list could be ten or twenty and they all need fixing sometime. But Ellen’s list attacks the essentials of a draft and there’s a whole lot of craft you can apply to fix it.